How to Date Someone in Recovery
If you are dating someone who has previously been addicted to drugs or alcohol, there are times where you might face a few different challenges. Not to mention, the unique considerations that need to be taken into account when dating someone in recovery – all of which can seem very confusing and even overwhelming.
It can be done though and just requires some understanding and patience alongside effective communication. Here, we reveal everything you need to know about building and maintaining a healthy relationship with and supporting a partner in recovery. Find out how to date someone in recovery here.
Understanding Addiction and Recovery
Addiction is a complex and serious disease that affects both the body and mind, and is often caused by a host of emotional, environmental and mental factors. Recovery, in contrast, is the process of healing and self-improvement and is a continuous journey from the moment that someone stops taking drugs or alcohol. It’s important to remember that both addiction and recovery come with their own challenges however, which is why dating someone in recovery requires a little extra care. Try understanding addiction to help you support their ongoing recovery.
Individuals in recovery can actually find dating very beneficial however as it enables them to grow and emotionally connect. However, it is crucial that the individual in recovery is ready to date and that they feel secure in their journey before attempting to date someone.
Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery
If you are dating someone in recovery, there are a few tips that can help you to build and sustain a healthy and supportive relationship. These include:
Educate yourself – Spend some time researching what addiction and the recovery process looks like by reading books, attending workshops and even suggesting that you attend local support groups with your partner if you feel comfortable. This will give you a greater understanding of what they are going through and you may meet other people in the same situation as you.
Respect their choices – Recovery is a very personal journey and it doesn’t come without its challenges. For this reason, you need to support and respect your partner in whatever way that looks for them. For example, they may prefer to go to meetings alone or they might want you to attend with them. Or they prefer that you don’t drink alcohol around them. Having these boundaries known and in place from the beginning can make all the difference to the relationship.
Avoid their triggers – On the topic of not drinking alcohol around them, whether or not they suggest this, it’s important to be mindful of any environments or situations that could cause a potential relapse. Of course, that’s not to say that you should feel guilty about anything but see what steps you can put in place to keep them on the right track. Setting these boundaries is also a great way to ensure that both you and them feel safe, valued and respected.
Stay patient and understanding – There’s no denying that recovery can be an emotional rollercoaster and it won’t always be easy. But just remember why they started and consider reaching out for guidance to support a loved one if you need. There are plenty of other partners going through the same thing and you may find that speaking to these people helps you to understand your own partner and situation much better.
The Importance of Communication with Someone in Recovery
As with any relationship, open and honest communication is essential for those partnerships where one person is in recovery. It’s hugely important to tell your partner how you’re feeling as well as concerns and needs you have, while supporting them at the same time. Equally, you need to foster an environment where they feel comfortable to talk to you.
To do this, you should try to practice active listening – paying full attention to your partner, asking open-ended questions and try not to interrupt. Be wary of the words and tone you use too, trying to avoid blame and instead simply expressing your feelings. Remember, it is their journey too and if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask.
What’s more, there are plenty of support groups and advice lines for partners dating someone in recovery so if you need any help, there is a professional waiting to speak to you. This includes offering advice on how to stage particular conversations and how you can be there for them in general.
Supporting Relapse Prevention in Recovery
For any individual going through recovery, relapse is a real concern. And while there is no guarantee that someone will relapse, it’s important that both you and your partner are aware that it could happen. Here, we reveal some tips for helping your partner to navigate through a relapse as well as any challenging times.
Understand the warning signs – From mood swings to isolation, or even old habits that you recognise, knowing what to look out for could mean that you’re able to get your partner the help they need and fast.
Encourage open communication – Take the steps to create an environment where your partner feels comfortable and supported to open up. If they can talk about potential triggers, feelings or even cravings, they’re more likely to come to you for help.
Seek support – Joining them when they visit their support groups can help them to navigate the recovery journey. It also shows them that they’re not alone and that you’re fully supportive of their journey which can do wonders for someone’s recovery.
Maintain trust – Be careful not to police your partner and instead trust what they are saying and doing. If you do appear judgemental, they may not likely come and talk to you as freely.
Partner Self-Care in Recovery
While dating can be fun and exciting, as well as rewarding, when it comes to dating someone in recovery, it can’t be denied that it can be very stressful and emotionally draining. This is why self-care is hugely important to help you to avoid burnout. Plus, it will make both you and your relationship stronger.
Setting healthy boundaries for yourself – Just as you respect your partner’s boundaries, create your own. Perhaps it might be that you’re not comfortable with certain activities or you want to carve out a specific time every week for yourself.
Engage in mindful activities – Yoga, swimming, reading, a soak in the bath – these activities can all help you to feel more grounded and rejuvenated. Find something that works for you and make sure you find the time for it each week.
Seek support – It’s important to not put too much pressure on yourself. Remember that you cannot fix your partner and instead should just be there to support them. Equally, if you need to speak to someone, there are plenty of support groups and therapy for partners of recovering addicts.
To conclude, dating someone in recovery requires understanding and patience, patience and the ability to communicate well. It’s a journey of support, deep connection, learning and mutual growth. But with the right tools, and professional support if you need it, you can successfully create trust in a relationship and enjoy effective communication in a relationship with a recovering addict, both of which will lead to a relationship full of love.